- After Dinner Speakers
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- Humorist
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John Simonett
JOHN SIMONETT is one of the busiest, professional and funniest after dinner and conference speaker to grace the corporate circuit.
The background...
A former schoolmaster and sportsman, John Simonett was educated at Fettes College, Edinburgh, and obtained a First Class honours degree from Bristol University, majoring in Psychology. He played Rugby Union for the Gloucester Club and was a member of the team that won the John Player Cup against Leicester at Twickenham in 1978. He also represented Gloucestershire and Scotland 'B', having been a regular member of the Scottish Squad in the late seventies.
In 1985 he left teaching to become a professional corporate entertainer and after-dinner/keynote speaker. He is now firmly established as one of the most original and entertaining speakers on the ‘circuit’.
John's 'tailored' presentation
While John Simonett's main objective is to be funny, clean and entertaining, John specialises in the ‘tailored’ presentation and likes to be able to make his remarks relevant to the group in question. He therefore requires a full consultation before each speech so that he can personalise his delivery to a client's brief. In fact the more ‘inside knowledge’ he can acquire beforehand about a company's people, products and philosophy the better.
Magic as a visual aid...
In addition, as a Member of the Inner Magic Circle, John also, when appropriate, makes use of some clever magic as a ‘visual aid’ half way through his talks, introduced gently, as a surprise, and which he relates to the theme of the event. Sometimes presented as a demonstration of ‘lateral thinking’, his routines can incorporate business themes such as Creativity, Problem Solving and Change Management. His talks can also have a motivational theme, and if appropriate he can reinforce important messages such as Teamwork, Leadership, Customer Service and Quality.
Memory man...
John also has a phenomenal, trained memory and uses this to telling effect - he does his ‘homework’ for each event and learns numerous names, details and relevant company information, which he skillfully weaves into his speeches.
A pair of safe hands...
His attention to detail, professionalism and experience - born out of over 2,000 performances on the corporate circuit - provides organisers with the reassurance that what is often the most important aspect of an event is in ‘safe hands’. Equally at home with an audience of 500 - or at a board meeting for twelve, John's charismatic personality and presence, together with his unique combination of humour, memory and magic - tailored to a client's specific brief - provides an original and refreshingly different alternative to the traditional after-dinner, keynote or motivational speaker.
Speaker in disguise...
John Simonett can also liven up an event by pretending to be an ‘external guest speaker’ and has surprised many conference audiences with his inside knowledge, wit and relevant magic. As a ‘spoof’ John is often introduced as a ‘consultant’ (or other business expert) about to give a serious talk, until it gradually dawns on the audience that all is not quite what it seems! With a brief from his client to give him enough information to sound plausible, John will keep the audience guessing before all is revealed …… important lessons from this being ‘all is not what it seems - we tend to see what we expect to see - keep an open mind!’’
- BASF conference for pesticide distributors – John was ‘Professor Simonett’, the man from DEFRA there to advocate the benefits of a pesticide tax!!
- 3M Photographic conference - a Harvard specialist in ‘effluent disposal’ there to berate the audience on their poor environmental record…..!
- ICI dinner – John was introduced as ‘Dr. Ian Picits’ (an anagram of ICI Paints!) the new ‘Director of Quality’ from ‘HQ’, there to enforce stringent new company directives!
- John has played the part of a Health and Safety Expert, A VAT Inspector, A Parliamentary Advisor to John Prescott, an Industrial Psychologist, an expert in Welsh Mediaeval History and a former US Treasury Investigator acting as advisor to the Global Head of Citibank's Foreign Exchange Department!
‘Please thank John Simonett for the excellent performance he gave to our sales team at Coventry. The fact that he was fully five minutes into your speech before they began to realise he was not from 'Head Office' is a tribute to his professionalism.’
Brooke Bond Foodservice Ltd
‘We have used many showbiz 'names' at our various conferences and I can honestly say that in my 15 years with the company I don't think anybody has entertained us more effectively or humorously than John Simonett’
Elida Faberge
"I have been to a number of dinners and have never seen any after-dinner speaker receive a standing ovation. It really was a most memorable evening for which I thank John enormously"
British Insurance and Investment Brokers Association
"We are still bemused by John Simonett's impeccable performance at our European conference dinner. A great many compliments were passed, on two counts. Firstly the choice of entertainment, and secondly, his consummate skill and personality in crossing the national and language barriers".
British office and Stationery Supplies Federation
"I cannot begin to congratulate myself for inviting John Simonett to speak at Friday's lunch! It was a fantastic success, and he made it! We have had so many calls to-day thanking us for such a brilliant "do" - everyone commenting on John's incredible skills."
Wood and Pilcher Estate Agents
"John Simonett gave another wonderful performance last night. It must have been a difficult audience with different nationalities who didn't all know each other. I thought he pitched it perfectly and my overseas colleagues all told me that their customers had a thoroughly enjoyable evening."
3M Healthcare
"Just a note to thank John Simonett for his excellent after-dinner 'speech' last week. I was well aware of John's skills as an entertainer and was most pleased at his ability to come 'in disguise' as a speaker on marketing services."
Schindler Lifts Ltd
"The feedback I have had following John Simonett's after-dinner speech at our conference last week is that his performance was viewed as brilliant. From my point of view we could not have chosen a better entertainer for the occasion, both in terms of the quality of his magic and the way he conveyed our 'quality' theme."
3M (UK) Ltd
