How To Stop Negative Thinking

9 May 2023

How to Stop Negative Thinking

Negative thoughts are common. Sometimes, they’re even useful. That gut feeling telling you something’s wrong can get you out of difficult or dangerous situations. But left unchecked, negative thoughts can lead to problems, including:

  • Stress and anxiety
  • Depression
  • Low self-esteem and self-worth
  • Feelings of failure
  • Spiraling negativity

Learning how to stop negative thinking can prevent unhelpful thoughts and feelings from intruding on your daily life. In this article, you’ll learn how to stop negative thinking patterns with a series of exercises to stop negative thinking, so you can start to adopt a more positive outlook.

What is Negative Thinking Exactly?

Negative thinking consists of regular thought patterns that create unfavourable feelings about yourself, your relationships, and your environment. Common negative thought patterns include:

  • Comparing yourself to others: “They can do it, so why can’t I?”
  • Comparing yourself to non-existent alternative versions of yourself: “I should be able to do this by now. If I were smarter, I’d be able to do it.”
  • Making excuses: “I can’t do it because it’s too difficult.”
  • Black and white thinking: “I can’t do it so I’m a failure. I’ll only be successful when I can do it.”
  • Giving up: “There’s no point even trying. I’ll never be able to do it.”

One study shows that up to 80% of our thoughts are negative. When we’re bombarded with troubling thoughts, it’s not always easy to recognise them — especially if it’s something you’ve accepted as a fact.

For example, if you’ve repeatedly struggled to stick to a regular exercise routine, you might succumb to thoughts that you’ll never get fit, you don’t deserve to be fit, or that it’s not worth putting in the effort.

Objectively, none of these things are true. Lots of previously unfit people manage to improve their fitness over time, regardless of their previous lifestyle or habits. And good fitness can lead to many secondary physical and mental health benefits, so it’s always worth squeezing in a workout. But objective thinking doesn’t come easily when you’re overrun with negative thoughts.

Breaking out of these negative thinking patterns is difficult. But by understanding why you’re having negative thoughts and learning to challenge them, you can do it.

What Causes Negative Thinking?

Historically, negative thoughts protected us. Our brain falls into thinking patterns that helped our ancestors survive.

But our survival is rarely under threat in modern life. So these cognitive biases become traps that stop us from doing the things we want, whether that's getting fitter, finding a better job, or having a more fulfilling relationship.

Negative thinking traps include:

  • Speculating — constantly asking yourself “what if?”
  • Overthinking — inability to stop worrying or thinking about a certain situation
  • Catastrophising — thinking about the worst possible outcome of a situation
  • Emotional reasoning — allowing negative feelings like anxiety or anger to dictate your thoughts.

To stop negative thinking, you must learn to spot thinking traps. When you’ve identified one, acknowledge it and treat it as a trap. Then rewrite those thoughts using concrete, fair evidence.

Here are the five most common thinking traps according to cognitive psychologist Javier Bajer, along with examples of negative and reframed thinking:

Exercises to Stop Negative Thinking

These exercises can help you identify and rationalise your negative thought patterns, giving you space to react appropriately without allowing negativity to spiral out of control.

Take a Moment and Focus

When negative thoughts seem to be taking over your headspace, don’t try to push them aside. Stop whatever you’re doing and focus on these thoughts. Without judgement, ask yourself:

  • Am I thinking about the worst case scenario (catastrophising)?
  • Is there any objective evidence for these thoughts (speculating)?
  • Am I thinking excessively about this problem (overthinking)?
  • Is my anxiety, worry, or anger dictating these thoughts (emotional reasoning)?

It’s OK if the answer to any of the above is yes. In fact, this is probably the best possible outcome — it means there’s no real imminent danger. And it means you can take further actions to move past the negative thoughts.

Label Your Thoughts

Take each thought as it comes and label it: catastrophising, speculating, overthinking, emotional reasoning. If it gives you clarity, you can even write each thought down, and physically label it.

Here’s an example. Let’s say you’re experiencing a negative thought pattern after a first date. Here are some thoughts you might have, and how you can label them:

If you come across any thoughts that don’t fit into these categories, ask yourself if this is a genuine imminent concern. If yes, how can you address it? If not, think of another way to label the negative thought.

Challenge Your Negative Thoughts

Now you know what’s causing your negative thoughts, you can start to challenge them in a positive way. Remind yourself that each thought is just that: a thought. Just because they flit into your head, it doesn’t make them factual.

Challenging negative thoughts is a more active way to deal with them. The best way to approach this is to replace each negative thought with a neutral/positive alternative:

Remember to just challenge the negative thoughts themselves; try not to challenge or berate yourself for thinking them.

Reflect on Your Positive Thoughts

Replacing negative thoughts is a skill that comes with time and active practice. Reflecting on your newfound positive thoughts can help you understand the knock-on impact on your feelings and behaviours.

Try to remember that thoughts are just thoughts. Neither negative or positive thoughts can influence outcomes. So thoughts that are overly positive or optimistic can set you up for disappointment, causing those negative thoughts to return.

Imagine reframing “they probably won’t want to go on a second date” with “I’m sure they will want to go on a second date.” If the second date never happens, you might feel more despondent. So try to keep your positive thoughts realistic and neutral.

Consider Mental Health Speakers

Mental health speakers can give you more advice and ideas for how to stop negative thinking. To promote wellbeing and good mental health at your organisation, consider booking a mental health speaker.

Our team can help you find the right speaker for your event or workplace. Let us know your goals, and we’ll pair you with the ideal speaker. Get in touch to learn more.

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